entries
December 12, 2008
Chapter 3-Surprises
I didn't know what to say, or at least expect. Every single cell and tissue in my body froze entirely. I couldn't even blink, nor move a muscle. Nothing else was reflected in my irises except for a crowd of people getting up from their seats, cheering me on, screaming my name out loud, like a bunch of crazy fans. Some even wore "I Love Ebony" t-shirts and even held up cardboards with the words "Ebony Rocks My Socks" in glitter and glossy paper on them. One even managed to catch hold of my right arm, screaming for me to sign my autograph on her cleavage. I freaked out and yelled "Aaaahhhh!" as I squeezed through the whole population (well, a 'bunch' is just not the right term for it) of paranoiacs and ran towards then exit. My mind felt worse than being chased by a thousand hellhounds. "Save me, Superman! Save me!!!" I screamed, imitating Lois Lane.
Right, cut off the drama. That was purely nonsensical, wasn't it?
The truth is, that was just my over-imaginative imagination. Sometimes, I felt unreasonably bewildered because of it, but it's not like I was schizophrenic or something. I can tell what's fake and what's real doubtlessly.
The REAL thing that happened was that the crowd applauded very loudly and it seemed that they had got nothing better to do than kept on applauding for every single agenda that day. They sounded more like computer-programmed robots than humans to me. Well, except for one. I could practically hear Addie's voice screaming "Go Ebs! You rock!" which sounded like she's screaming right beside my ear though she's actually seating quite far behind. I squinted my eyes and waved at her lightly.
For still not believing that I had won an award, the girl beside me had to push me up to the stage to receive it. Me, still being my blur self, looked behind with completely lost eyes until the luminous spotlight shone through and blinded my eyes for a second. I almost tripped while going up the mini staircase again, thanks to my clumsiness. I shook Mr. Joe's hand, bowed down a little when I received my prizes, and smiled nervously for the camera.
At that moment, I didn't feel nervous anymore. I felt like a star of a show. After exchanging many 'thank-yous' with the 'congrats' from crowd and Mr. Joe himself, I ran and hugged Addie straightaway. I smiled and screamed and shouted like I was at the top of the world, and I knew that the luck and miracle angel had nothing to do with this. It was self-determination that brought me here, brought me up to this very stage and saved me a space in the spotlight for once! My insecurities, they were all gone as tears formed behind my eyes and streamed down my cheek. On that very moment, I started believing in myself, for that I could shine like everybody else! And that very particular but special part me of that made every living dream possible was none other than my passion for music.
x x x
I hugged my mum as I reached home, holding the certificate in one hand.
"Mom! I did it! I got a DISTINCTION for Grade 8!" I said as tears swelled up in my eyes.
"Congratulations darling! I'm so proud of you. And what are these?" she asked, jerking her
thumb on the trophy and RM3, 000 cash.
"Ohh, those. My prizes for getting the best results."
"Splendid! Now, you don't have to complain about not having enough pocket money anymore.
You could even buy me an LV Palarmo GM for my birthday." she joked.
"Your birthday? Aww, c'mon mum. Why do you always have to mention about LV? Didn't dad bought you Coach from the US already?" I grunted.
"All right, all right. It's just a joke. Hurry up and bathe now."
"Now!? So early!? It's just 12.30 in the afternoon. Can't I just laze around for at least 5 minutes and watch TV or something?"
"Well," she said with her lips twitched up in consideration, " No."
"But-"
"No 'buts'!"
"Fine. You're the mom." I rolled my eyes.
I sighed and moaned my way up to my room. It's darn pink, and I had it since I was a little girl.
It had this cute fairies' wallpaper border on it, and my mum wouldn't get me a new one, more suitable for my AGE, even if I ripped it off myself and demanded for a new one. Too bad, I wasn't rebellious enough to act that way.
I lied down on my bed with my face against the bed, which seemed like I fell off the ceiling while trying to be Spiderman and landed flat on my face. I lifted my head up for a minute, as I needed to breathe. I turned myself over and looked at the blank ceiling.
It had been a great day, with all the adrenalin rush and nerve-breaking situations. It's not that I was boasting about myself or anything but, I couldn't deny that I was actually pretty talented in music. I mean, after all these years, I couldn't say that I didn't have any talent at all, could I?
I shifted my attention to the bright pastel pink curtains, projected by the bright afternoon sunshine. After lying on the bed for 5 minutes, I got up and opened the blue mini-sized drawer from my mini-sized cupboard. The sweetness of the scent of the honey melon scented candle appeased me as I inhaled deeply. That particular candle had been inside my drawer for like a month already. It was actually a present from Jake, sort of an appreciation gift; but I never thought of throwing it away, together with all the other things (love letters, a mug, some keychains made for couples) he gave me. Maybe it did mean alot to me after all .
But it just seemed to me that every time I pulled a face and tried to dump it into the dustbin,
my conscience held me back; telling me it's not the right thing to do. I didn't have to wonder why it appealed so obviously that I was torn between my heart and my mind.
Of course, on the contrary, they could never co-exist. Don't ask me why,things were just practically that way. The only reason for all this to happen is that I still missed him. I missed him, no; I missed him so much that I even questioned my own sanity right after the breakup.
During the early post-breakup period, I couldn't sleep well. I couldn't swallow the food I chew and I couldn't focus on my studies. I felt so...unalive all of the sudden. My parents realised this but I denied everything they asked, trying to cover things and defend Jake (for heck I didn't even know why did I do that for). My friends said they didn't even know me anymore, like I've became so morbid and stuff.
Few weeks later, I managed to pull myself back to reality and realised that the love I had ain't
coming back. Everyone was glad that the cheerful Ebony they knew had came back. I was so happy with myself for completely letting go of things Jake and I used to be, or at least I thought so.
I took a quick shower and went downstairs. I grabbed the TV remote control fast enough so that no one could get hold of it.
"At last! The TV is all mine, mine mine!'" I thought cheekily to myself.
Then, i overheard my mum talking on the phone.
"Uhuh. Yeah. Sure. It's only Math's, right? Ok. I'll tell her. No, no, no. She's free. Yeah, sure. Thanks a lot. You take care too, bye."
"Mum, who's that?"
"It's Mrs. Lee. I told her I was looking for a better and more comprehensive Math's tuition for you. And Mrs. Lee called up to tell me that she has found one already. I told her that you will join the tuition after your exams are over."
"Oh I see. Right," I shrugged and walked away, as if I wasn't really bothered by that.
"By the way, you're not alone, sweetie. Jake's there too."
"WHAT!?!? JAKE LEE IS THERE!?!?" my eyes widened up with great shock.
"Yes, he is. Why? Is there anything wrong?"
"MOM! I-nevermind." I held my frustration as hard as I could.
I swallowed hard and let out a deep sigh. "Right. I'm in for more awkward situations."